Sunday, February 15, 2009

In Which Our Hero Falls To Fashion...

...and lists 25 Random Things about himself.

1) I have a mental processing disorder. It's sort of a inability to match up the outside world and the inside of my head. Right and left mean virtually nothing to me, and I can never relate maps or blueprints to real world locations. I get lost a /lot/, even in places I know perfectly well. It's just as well I grew up in the South, where directions are given by landmarks. To this day, I couldn't tell you how to get to The Drama Bookshop, other than you pass the big Synagogue, the door down to the subway that's closed off and past two porno places.

2) The first Doctor Who book I ever read was Nigel Robinson's novelisation of The Edge of Destruction, Easter, 1988.

3) Speaking of Doctor Who, WUNC-TV would air 4 episodes in a row on Saturday afternoons, rather than airing story compilations like they did in the rest of the US. Apparently, when I was very small, I couldn't tell when the story was over and would keep watching WUNC even after Doctor Who went off. The next show was The Almanac Gardner, and my mother would come in and see me learning how to tend broccoli.

4) I have seen one (1) porcupine. It was in Juneau, Alaska. It was a great deal cuter than I expected it to be.

5) There are very few things I hate, but second on the list is deer.

6) I am 1/256th Cherokee. One of my best friends is 1/2 Cherokee and did not fall to the ground laughing when I told him that recently.

7) The best Christmas gift I ever got was a blanket with a tiger on it. I got it when I was 9 or 10 from an aunt and it's one of the few things I've had every place I've lived. And it's still in remarkably good condition -- the only repair I've ever had to do was to stitch the lining back in one spot in college.

8) I learned to make espresso drinks in the Half Moon Junction in Manteo, NC. It's no longer there -- the space it was in now houses its big sister, the Full Moon Cafe, which used to be across the street. It is owned by one of the greatest men I've ever known, Paul Charron, and his wife, Sharon.

9) My favourite painting is La Tempesta by Giorgione.

10) I have never watched an episode of American Idol, nor do I intend to start doing so now.

11) I have broken my right ankle twice.

12) I'm fairly certain that if David Bowie and Stephen Fry had a child, that child would be god.

13) I have never seen a UFO. I have both heard and seen a ghost, though given how much time I've spent in the Outer Banks, this is not surprising.

14) I am an excellent bartender. My bible is a late 1960s Playboy's Host and Bar Book snagged from my father when I was 18. I have only ever made one bad drink on its reputation -- something with Grand Marnier and Rose's Lime Juice -- and only Ben Wheeler and I tried it. I have never mentioned it before now, and may never do so again.

15) I believe Dan Komar's Newshawks is the greatest single gay porno ever made. The first scene has a threesome with Robbie Masters and Cameron Jackson and it only gets better from there.

16) The worst book I have ever read was Caleb Williams, by William Godwin, the father of Mary Shelley and the husband of Mary Wallstonecraft.

17) One morning my freshman year of college, one of my suitemates stopped me and asked if I wanted to go for a drive. There were four of us all told and we drove to Abilene, Kansas -- as far as you can get from Chapel Hill, NC in one day. Then we drive back. It was the first time I ever skipped class.

18) Shows I have seen every (remaining) episodes of: Doctor Who, Fawlty Towers, Black Adder, Are You Being Served?, Home Movies, Cracker.

19) I can start a fire without matches, with flint and steel. And char-cloth. And I can make char-cloth.

20) I'm always sort of afraid horses are going to step on my feet.

21) I have never seen a full set by The Essex Green -- despite having seen them at least 8 times. It usually has something to do with my friend Alicia: one time she asked me to go get condoms for her (still am not sure just why I did that) and another time she got distinctly ill at the Cat's Cradle and I had to take her home.

22) My favourite memory of Laura Llew is her trying to stare down Chris "Beans" Geddes in one of the dressing rooms of the Carolina Theatre during an interview with Richard Colburn.

23) I always tuck book receipts inside the book I've just bought, so I can remember where and when I bought it. I think the oldest books I have done this for come from 1997.

24) I am afraid of heights.

25) The thing I want most in the world? My very own basset hound.